I'm going in tomorrow to have the third surgery since Monday. After putting on the grids and doing the research and tests that the doctors did, they decided that removing the problematic spot from my brain is to risky and wouldn't result in a successful outcome. The were so upset in telling me, had so much time invested in my case and wanted it to work for me that it made it that much worse.
Soo...here I am back to square one it seems. All I can do, at this minute is feel mad, defeated and like I failed at something way more powerful then I should have ever thought i could win at. I'm giving up for today. But, hopefully my attitude will fell better tomorrow. Someday I'll feel like I can be on my own two feet again and not have to relay on others just for me to live life. But today, I just want to curl up and sleep. With Valium.
So sorry things didn't work out the way we all wanted them to (especially you!). You have a right to feel mad, angry, defeated and plain old pissed off! Hopefully soon those feelings will subside a little and the hope of an even better plan that is awaiting you somewhere and somehow will shine though. Sending warm thoughts and big hugs. xoxo
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